Must Love Dogs...

There is a statement that I've often made that tends to draw attention to me, attention of the negative kind and that statement is "I don't like dogs." At this point the conversation normally goes like this:

Other Person: *look of horror* Why don't you like dogs? Did something happen to you?
Me: No, I just don't like them.
Other Person: *shocked silence*
Me: *smiles and walks away*

There are many reasons why I don't like dogs:

Dogs smell
Nothing is more putrefying than a wet dog.
Dogs bark
Constantly. I'd rather listen to a baby crying than a dog barking.
Dogs drool
Over absolutely everything! Yeugh!
Dogs have fleas
Totally unforgivable. I detest fleas.
Dogs jump on you
Mud and tears on my clothes are not something I would generally be happy about.
Dogs are stupid
Dogs damage themselves in so many ways purely because they are too stupid to have a sense of survival. No, don't lick the electric fence, it will hurt you... No, doggie... Don't lick tha... *bzzzzzzz* ... Stupid dog.

Man's best friend? I think it's a sad day when a dog is your best friend.

So to round this up, not everyone are dog lovers. There are those of us that do prefer cats over dogs. So please, if we come and visit your home don't be offended if we ask you to lock up your dog because it's chewing on our car tyres, or put it in the back yard because it's barking at its own shadow... the excuse, "he's just a dog" doesn't cut it, I'm afraid.