Relationships… Ugh

Ok, this is a bit of a rant about my love life, or rather, lack thereof… so please, if you don’t want to hear about it, the door’s that-a-way -->

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I think it’s because I’m sick that I’m having a bit of a pity party, but I am really feeling sorry for myself at the moment. The reason is my love life.

I know that there are wonderful men out there, really I do. However, the ones that I’ve come across are either married, live in another town, far, far away, are just way too young for me or have been so badly hurt by a woman that they are afraid to let themselves love again. Then again, I suppose I’m not really one to talk because the idea of being in a relationship again terrifies me, although I long for one. The problem is I would probably die of shock if I actually managed to get into one, and have it work for any period longer than 8 months.

I’ve had several relationships over the past 10 or so years, only two of which were actually worth something. Yes, I’m talking about Ian and Richard. Those are two of the most incredible men I’ve ever met, each for very different reasons.

So what is the solution to my problem… a shag buddy? “Fun while it lasts?” Maybe it’s the only solution. But what happens if you get attached to that shag buddy? Then what? No, sorry, I’m actually well on the way to wanting more of you in my life, so let’s end it now? What the hell do you do if you develop feelings for someone who sees you as nothing more than a toy to play with when needed?

Maybe only a handful of people are meant to find real happiness in a relationship whilst the rest of us enjoy what we can, while we can? Is that an awful thing to say?

I’m also going to say that I don’t think it’s good for a married person to answer that question either. If there’s a single person out there in the world that has the answer, let me know…

Ok, the pity party is over… I’m too busy to be feeling sorry for myself for any great period of time.

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